Sunday, October 26, 2008

Mud and Roaming

And in the foothills, the undefended slope of the Clown arm
Plucks corn from tall stalks; the throat opens unkindly
For their girth. Unfertile soil, inconstant and wet, splotches
The knees of my Bens when nothing else but the muddy ruin of
my pantalones harms me—he gave me these. I peel
back ojas vigilantly, hungrily.

Rhythm. Reflex. The soquete seeps into me, and
the corn dodges teeth, goes deep, yet kernels scrape teeth.
Forgiveness awaits its place atop wrist skin;
Three crosses deem me over. Maize, mush, slobber
All over my chin, I delve and forage and lunge
toward the thin cadre of sick jesters talking shit,
where memory, like my footing, has slipped—

Prodding him, inciting shit. Someone better out there.
My face has its own day in mirrors. It’s the volume of
what I cannot absorb: texts and hearsay.
On a night when my first lover died, and I’m alone, honing
The will to not join him, it’s someone else he’s with.
A neighbor. A bear. A man he’d rather spend his hours
Beside. I don’t know where they’ve gone.

And thus, it’s the coraje in the wall of my throat that bloats
The eye, the unsoundness of the ear, the unconscious
crack in the fourth rib where life has kicked the shit outta me,
and I’ve allowed it to. I own it. I have accountability.
This coraje like the coyote behind my Tia Leecha’s cuartito
howls, sniffs, roams. My coraje, too far from home.
Soon, my mouth will begin to foam.
Old boy isn’t around when I’ve come to knees and knuckles.

The floorboards embrace what buckles in my knees.

It’s his roaming that hoards me. At 3 am, it’s hard to unload.

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